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#010: The Ultimate Guide to Croatia and Croatian Girls

In the latest episode of the show, Kyle welcomes his good friend Martin to the Dating Abroad recording studio to do an in-person interview.

Martin is of Croatian-Canadian descent and has a lot of cool insights into Croatian culture.

He also provided some killer bonus content in the form of a in-depth datasheet and infographic about Croatia.

To get the rest of this infographic regarding the six top spots in Croatia, click here. DOWNLOAD THE INFOGRAPHIC

Take it away, Martin…

Avoid:

1) Istria – The relaxing “Italian” part of Croatia. That’s the little testicle hanging off the side of the coast at the northwest portion of Croatia near Slovenia. Unless you’re into fishing, relaxing and staying in with your wife and kids or girlfriend to do nothing, just avoid the place. Beautiful but boring. Great for families and relaxing but you’ll miss out on partying and the girls from Dalmatia are a lot more easy-going.

2) Slavonija – That north-eastern gangrenous stretch of secondary testicular matter between Hungary and Bosnia. Although there are some seriously famous breweries around here, it’s mainly just farmland.

3) Dubrovnik – Overdone and full of tourists. Unless you’re flying directly into it, you’ll have to drive through the Bosnian coast from Split. Kind of annoying. If you seriously can’t live without seeing King’s Landing from Game of Thrones, then so be it. But the Roman palaces are just as beautiful in Split.

WIFE HUNTING: If you are seriously looking for a wife or long-term Croatian girlfriend, go to southern Bosnia (Hercegovina, Mostar, Sarajevo) OR Mississauga, Toronto or Vancouver, Canada. From what I can tell American Croatians basically melt to the pot after a single generation. Canada retains the ethnicity due to our segregated multiculturalism. After the Diaspora, traditional Croatia emigrated from Dalmatia to the hinterlands, away from the coast, and partly across the ocean. Strange, right? Going to church back home in Canada is like traveling into the 1950s.

Bonus Details:

1) Zagreb

One of my favorite spots to party in Zagreb was Urnebes Restaurant. Yes, it’s a restaurant that turns into a dance hall post-evening meal. Typically, you’ll go with a group of friends at around 7-8pm and order a gigantic plate of ćevape (ground beef rolled into little turd-shaped balls), proscuitto (pršut), lamb, pork chops, etc. We came as a group of 5 guys (brother, myself and three cousins) and spent about $30 each. After the meal, you’ll get a big aluminium ice bucket with a couple bottles of Johnny Walker Red Label. The tables will recede to the sides of the room and people will start dancing. Go on a weekend night and grab a table fairly early. Not a place to go solo until much later in the evening. The party here will likely last until 4-6 in the morning, at which point you might make your way to BBS, Gallery or anything along the Sava River. That’s the extent of my experience in terms of Zagreb nightlife. Zagreb is incredibly fun, especially in the summer. The women are much more Westernized than the rest of Croatia, but they have style and are not quite as bitchy.

2) Plitvice Jezero (National Park Plitvice Lakes)

Must see for its natural beauty alone. It’s a series of waterfalls and lakes that go up and down a mountain. You’re also very likely to bump into girls walking up and down the paths during the day. At the end of the entire journey there is a big park by the lake with benches where you’ll definitely meet people. I highly recommend booking a hotel room inside the National Park grounds itself, and not nearby in hostels/bed and breakfasts. We drove up with a car thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal to get between our pad and the park, but the logistics were just horrible. Tons of people stay on the grounds and there tend to be parties at night.

  • […] learned some Croatian language for your trip and you’re ready to make local friends and meet Croatian girls. Or you are off to a business trip and wonder how to build relationships with your Croat […]

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